15 year old dating a 20 year old
(I know how that sounds: I cringe now just typing it.) But at the time, to us, it wasn't weird or taboo as much as this epic, forbidden romance. Before long we were all hanging out together, driving around in his car: T and me in the front, my friend and her boyfriend in the back. Many memories remain fuzzy, but incidents such as that day in the forest remain in crisp detail. It was late and my parents were asleep as we drove over to the house where T. At some point, my friend left to go somewhere, and for whatever reason I didn't go with him. Maybe he only stepped out to go to the store down the block. This was after the night at his house, though how much later I cannot say.While they made out, we made conversation, thrown together in the awkwardness of nearby coupledom. What I do remember is sitting on a couch with T., him putting on a Elton John song and telling me, in words I can't recall specifically, that he wanted to be my boyfriend. I just recall being almost to my house, when I told T. In the initial years following, I never really talked about this with anyone other than my high school girlfriends and various therapists. I was having breakfast the other day with a friend who was giving dating advice to his son.For purposes of his anonymity, I am going to call just call him "Son." My friend said, "Son, you're 18 years old, so I am going to tell you how you date.
If you are Billy Ray Cyrus not only do you give your daughter your blessing on the relationship, but you also pat yourself on the back for setting her up.Before long, we had our own inside jokes, a shared eye-roll at yet another lover's quarrel in a small space. I didn't want to hang out with him anymore."You don't mean that," he told me. As I got older, however, the more I realized that my experience was not an uncommon one. We talked about music, about high school, his experience then and mine now. "That's your mom talking."I told him that this wasn't true: it was my choice. It seemed just about every woman I knew had a similar story, a time when wanting attention meant getting the wrong kind entirely. You can go back to attending frat parties and having people throw up on you. Do you really want to date someone who hasn't actually had a real job yet and is still going out and drinking like a college student?When you're 35, you can date a 24-and-a-half-year-old woman.