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As the years went on Yossi said he felt trapped with a woman he did not love, with five children and a job he hated.He went on the Internet, looking for answers and for people who felt as alone as he did.

It’s like having a chat about ball trampling or the Pentagon’s Kevlar underwear. And yet as someone who knows the sting of this particular ritual—who volunteered for it, in fact, and signed his own check to the part-time reaper who did the job—I have to say: It’s not so bad.It was part of the Reform movement: only game for the high holidays, mostly casual about pork, always down with gay female rabbis.When one of my own rabbis (gay, female) slipped me the number of a mohel, a professional snipper, I laughed it off: classic Jewish humor! To remain uncut, I was told, is to remain spiritually cut off from the Jewish people. But a funny thing happened on the road to gay, female, pork-friendly Judaism: The Reform movement began to ask more people to put some skin in the game.Instead I felt the way I remember feeling as a child when, rising early, I could watch light fill the woods behind my house, revealing .When the mohel finally spoke, he spoke in Hebrew and I couldn’t make out a word of it.

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